Living Together

Live-in Relationship


The page is part of Ask Jim and is Copyright 2005 J. F. Harrington

Q: Dear Jim-

My boyfriend (29) and I (24) have been together for 4 years and 2 months, living together for the past 4 years. Our relationship has been great until about 6 months ago. He started his own business and he works 7 days a week at least 12 hours a day. I am a full-time student and work a part time job at night. We have been fighting because I feel like he does not have time for me and does not attempt to make time for me. All he does is work and sleep. I also feel that it is about time for our relationship to move to the next step(marriage) but he says that he wants to get his life together. He wants to buy a house and save money. I try to tell him that we could do that together as a married couple but he wants to wait.

We fight often. He just does not seem to care anymore. He does not make an effort to spend time with me. I really love him and thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. I just don't know what I can do to make my situation better. Should I try to make our relationship work or should I just move on with my life? What should I do?

A: Saving money and working toward buying a house in the future are admirable goals. Working all day, every day, for months at a time, is sacrificing the present.

The future may never come, for some of us. I doubt many people on their deathbed are heard to say "I wish I spent more time at work."

Do you expect your relationship to improve, because you get married?

Who knows if he'll commit to marriage but if he already has all the benefits of it, is there less incentive?

Scroll down on my Ask Jim page, you'll find other live-in-relationship questions. Thanks for writing. I hope things work out well for you.